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lyrics

do you realise how serious this is?
this is a life or death matter and I'm gonna take it serious
everything I say's gonna make a whole lotta sense
so you better be taking notes my friend

well first of all there's gonna be a great big sale at Costco's
but you're not supposed to go
cause when you check out
they're going to give you a stamp on your hand
and you're not gonna be able to wash it off for a week
that stamp is gonna say I'm a sucker
cause I fell for the sale of Gravity
that's right folks Gravity's free with the purchase of a basketball
gravity's free with your purchase of a TV
try to put that thing up on your shelf it's gonna fall
and if you didn't get the extended warranty you're out of luck
so good luck with you
wish I hadn't told you
it would've been funny to see how many people got mad and tried to sue
but they got it all locked up in litigation
they know what they're doing
screwing mom & pop America
with the Walmarts and the Costcos and the Sams Clubs
they're making all their money off of us
the Federal Government could learn a thing or two
from watching them in action all the things they do
they make us give them our money
we just give em give em give em our money all day long.

I'm sorry bout that lamp I broke that time when I was running in the hall
I'm sorry bout that lamp I broke that time when I was playing basketball in the

house
I'm sorry bout that time that I spilled iodine on the carpet
mercurochrome
I had a big cut on my knee and it hurt real bad
and I thought that would make it better
but I was wrong I guess
when all it did was make this big ugly pink place in the carpet

credits

from A Robbery of Intellect, released April 13, 2011

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